Emmerdale star Ash Palmisciano has opened up about the sad loss of his mum earlier this year.
The actor, who plays Matty Barton in the ITV soap, lost his mum in May to complications of rheumatoid arthritis, at the age of 60.
Ash called his mum "a true inspiration" to the family and said she was a fantastic nan too.
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"Poor Matty has had a rough time in Emmerdale, but there has always been so much love in my family home and Mum was the most important person in my life," he told The Mirror.
"Grief is such a beast that is uncontrollable and you are not prepped for it. We don't talk about loss and it's something we will all face in our lives. It's been a terrible year and I am finding it hard."
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He said his mum put a brave face on despite suffering from the illness.
"Mum was so strong and so brave. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at the age of 29 but she suffered from it secretly because she wanted to fill our lives with positivity.
"She was very glamorous, worked, did the school run, and was always checking in with me and my sister to make sure we were okay.
"She was a miracle because she had so many health scares in her life from the effects of it – and despite her health battles she was brave and dignified until the end."
He is hoping to make the festive season a happy time, despite it being the first Christmas without his mum.
"I am sure we will all have our moments. But we want to recreate her amazing spirit and energy for her two grandkids, as she was such a fantastic nanna.
"We want to make it fun for them – and if she is watching we are hoping she will be impressed."
If you identify with the themes in this article, the NHS has resources available to help with grief counselling and other support in the UK. In the US, the CDC also has resources available for those grieving.
Emmerdale airs on weeknights at 7.30pm on ITV1, and streams on ITVX.
