Pretty Little Liars' Troian Bellisario has shared her poignant story of living with mental illness.
The 31-year-old actress has written a moving essay for Lena Dunham's Lenny Letter, in which she describes the battles she's faced with the "greatest and best of enemies".
"As someone who struggles with a mental illness, my biggest challenge is that I don't always know which voice inside me is speaking," she acknowledged. "My body voice, the one that says, Troian, I'm cold, get out of the lake, or my illness: You told everyone three times, so you can't disappoint them. You are not enough."
Troian has struggled with healthy eating throughout her adult life because she says "there is a part of [her] brain that defies logic".
"Once, [my brain] completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me even that was too much," she heartbreakingly recalled.
"That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me. It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day."
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However, Troian is taking back the power in writing and directing the film Feed — a semi-biographical drama about treating eating disorders.
"Writing, producing, and acting in it helped me to get one more degree of separation from my disease in what I know will be a lifetime of work in recovery," she explained. "It is my greatest hope that someone watching it, struggling with the same challenges I do, might think, What if I were enough too?
"So with all the courage I can muster, I give it to you, I give it to that one person, in hopes that it could make them feel enough."
Her film Feed is now available on video-on-demand and digital media platforms. Watch a trailer below:
Readers affected by the issues raised in this story are encouraged to contact Samaritans free on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk).
Beat promotes awareness and understanding of eating disorders, also challenging inaccurate stereotypes and stigma. Find out more at Beat's website or by calling 0345 634 1414.
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Justin is a freelance entertainment journalist and writer. He first joined Digital Spy as a freelance entertainment reporter in 2010 and also worked as a sub-editor for the brand, serving as Night News Editor from 2016 to 2024. Over more than a decade, Justin has covered numerous major entertainment events from the US and has interviewed a wide-ranging group of public figures, from comedian Steve Coogan to icons from the Star Trek universe, cast members from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and reality stars from numerous Real Housewives cities and the Below Deck franchise. Justin has also been on the ground to cover major pop culture events like the Star Wars Celebration and the D23 Expo. He's written for titles across the Hearst network, plus the likes of CBR and Us Weekly.
