EastEnders' Rakhee Thakrar has opened up about the viewer reaction to her character, which left her in tears at the time.
Thakrar joined the soap in 2014, taking over the role of Shabnam Masood from previous actor Zahra Ahmadi. Shabnam was known for her strong morals, determined attitude and judgemental tendencies.
However, speaking on an upcoming episode of Lacey Turner's We Started Here podcast, Thakrar reveals that not everyone was a fan of the character's no-nonsense mindset.
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"When I started on EastEnders, and everyone hated Shabnam, like vehemently hated her, I remember feeling like I'd failed," she tells her former co-star. "I remember having this one day where I was crying in my bed. I was like: 'oh my god, how am I going to get through this?' Because it was just so much hate."
Despite the strong viewer reaction, the actor recalls how she overcame the negativity by realising she had "nothing to lose".
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"And then I just remember going to work the next day and feeling quite free, because I was like, okay, well, I felt like I'd failed and actually I hadn't. I had created someone that had an effect. But in that moment, I felt like I'd failed.
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"And, actually, what came the next day was utter freedom because I was like, well, I've got nothing to lose. It's an interesting thing."
She continues: "And, also to fail in front of millions of people, which was what was in my head, I was like, well, I failed in front of like, I don't know, five million people who watched it last night, Well how bad can it get now?"
Throughout her time in Walford, Shabnam experienced various heartbreaking struggles which humanised her to audiences. By the time Thakrar had exited EastEnders in 2016, viewers had warmed to the character, with some hoping she would return alongside her daughter Jade.
EastEnders airs on Mondays - Thursdays at 7.30pm on BBC One. The show also streams on BBC iPlayer, where most episodes drop early at 6am ahead of their TV broadcast.
