Tech isn't a 'field' anymore - our entire society runs on it. Computers suddenly dying is an apocalyptic scenario to rival a worldwide zombie outbreak. Facebook outages cause Twitter meltdowns. And if our 4G's down for 20 minutes – well, just shoot us now!
The best and worst of what humanity has to offer can be seen through tech, and in 2015 it was the tech itself that became the cause of many a good and bad news headline – including this lot.
Prepare to have your heart warmed, followed by cringing your face off with embarrassment. We're going through the whole gamut of emoji-replicated emotions here.
THE VILLAINS
Ashley Madison ruins an awful lot of relationships
Some might say this is a classic case of karma as Ashley Madison is a pretty nasty idea right from the off - it's a dating site for people out to cheat on their partners. Classy, right? We all know it happens a lot. But making a business out of the… sordid business? Sheesh.
What to Read Next
Well, Ashley Madison barrelled into public consciousness when its servers were hacked and user data nicked. All private data is sensitive, but this was next-level stuff. Hackers posted the data in August, detailing the apparently 37 million users the service had lured-in. Cue a zillion break-ups, a whole bunch of public shamings and, apparently, multiple suicides.
Hello Barbie's first mission: to spy on your kids
Oh dear. It turns out that the latest Barbie is the stuff of nightmares. Hello Barbie records your kid's conversations and uploads them to a server, like a prop from a '90s spy movie. Mattel (aka evil toy magnate) says this is to help improve speech recognition.
But, in a reveal that just makes you want to bury head in hands and weep for the future of humanity, apparently Hello Barbie's security is terrible. So hackers could easily end up listening to whatever your kid's babbling on about. Sure, as long as they don't like singing the 'bank account info' song, it'd probably be meaningless nonsense. But it's still immensely creepy. No wonder Fortune called Hello Barbie the "worst toy of the year by far".
Caroline Flack forgets one social media must – clothes
When you're in the public eye, there's no getting away with a serious social media gaffe. When that gaffe is letting the public eye your private bits, not only is there no escaping the faux pas, that's becoming headline news.
That's the fate that befell X Factor co-host Caroline Flack this year. Well, more precisely, her nipple which popped up on Instagram. The presenter's not so self-conscious selfie was hastily removed before being reposted with some more tasteful cropping. This Christmas, remember, no stripping and snapping.
Heinz QR code gaffe sends man to porn site
Heinz probably likes to think of itself as a family company. However, that all went a bit skew-whiff back in January when a man scanned a QR code on a humble bottle of Hot Ketchup and found something altogether hotter than expected. That's right, he was sent straight to a hardcore porn site and was exposed to beans of a different sort. Oh dear.
In fairness to Heinz, it wasn't entirely its fault. The label was from a 2014 batch, and the promotional QR code had expired, being reassigned to, ahem, fundorado.com. But given how long tomato ketchup lasts you'd think Heinz would at least make sure the code would work more than at least one year. More proof, as if it were needed, that QR codes are often just a plain bad idea.
Call for Sexbots to be banned for good is actually needed
Over the last decade, tech has really improved its image. It's not nerdy nonsense anymore. If you don't know about tech, your chances of getting a good job in a lot of fields is pretty slim. But they had to go and ruin it, didn't they? The thing that knocked tech back a bit this year: sex robots.
We've all seen Blade Runner, we know they're going to happen one day. But tech needs to avoid exploitative, objectifying aspects while it can. Robotics expert Kathleen Richardson is part of a movement called Campaign Against Sexbots that argues they will objectify women and children, and generally suck the empathy out of us. Let's be honest — have you ever seen a film where sex robots don't seem 150% creepy and seedy?
EE Power Bars are recalled as a fire hazard
What should have been a good ended as a bad as EE's Power Bars went from best free gift ever to recalled fire hazard in a matter of months. The battery-boosting, smartphone-saving sticks came out of the blue as a generous bonus to existing customers in the first half of the year. They proved so popular that more than a million were shifted in just four days, with demand outstripping supply.
In recent weeks, however, after the odd incident of accidental arson, and a previous product recall, all EE Power Bars were put on the naughty list and demanded back. Instead, EE is now giving a crisp £20 note to those having to return their gifts. Ouch.
THE HEROES
Disney waives rights to let kids with prosthetic limbs play Iron Man
Disney is a giant corporation. Sure, it may have come up with Mickey, but when you're a behemoth, cranking out billion dollar properties, there comes a point where the bottom line becomes more important than those precious kids' smiles. Disney proved it's not always about the money this year, though, when it waived the licensing for Iron Man, Star Wars and Frozen in a team-up with a designer who makes prosthetic limbs for kids.
They look like toys, featuring lights and, with the Iron Man version in particular, unmistakeable designs, but they definitely aren't toys. Joel Gibbard is the brains behind these replacement limbs. And he expects they'll be ready for the spotlight by the end of 2016, and will cost around $3,000 (£2,000).
Formula E - the anti-Clarkson racing is here
2015 saw the launch of the Formula E Championship. With its quiet engines, slower cars and generally lesser excitement, it didn't have every Formula 1 fan foaming at the mouth like someone slipped a bit of petrol in their Shreddies.
However, it was an important moment for electric transportation in general. It proves electric cars aren't slow, boring things for people who only take pleasure in smugly telling people how 'green' they are. Sure there may be a way to go. But it's good to see a sport with such Jeremy Clarkson-tinged roots develop in such an un-Clarkson-like progressive stance.
First eye implant for macular degeneration happens
Getting old sucks. People stop listening, it can be harder to get a job. Then, if you're really unlucky, your senses start resigning, one by one. Back in June, we heard about the first implant of a device designed to tackle the tricky issue of age-related macular degeneration. This gradually eats away at your central vision: not good.
80-year-old Ray Flynn was the among the first to have the procedure, which involves fixing a sensor to the part of the back of the eye where you're losing vision. The squeamish among you probably shouldn't think about the scalpel work involved too much. It doesn't suddenly transform totally dead vision into a Technicolor Wizard of Oz-like job, but it does deliver information to your noggin that you can learn to interpret – like Ms Flack's soft bits. Bring on the cyborg revolution.
Zuckerberg promises to give away Facebook billions (and billions)
Just recently, Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg made a Facebook post that smacked of something you might do while drunk, and then really, really regret the next day – he announced plans to give away 99% of his Facebook shares. They're worth billions. Many billions.
But no, he's not going around shoving it in every charity collector tin he can find. Instead, he's setting up an organisation designed to promote "advancing human potential", through something called the Chan Zuckerberg initiative. The idea is that over the years Zuckerberg's billions will be pumped into trying to cure diseases, and this move arrived alongside Zuck's child, Max. Cynics might say it's a scene so schmaltzy it's like the sheer sap of the whole thing is gluing you to the ground and beating you to death with a sap bat. But, hey, it's nicer than anything Donald Trump will ever do.
Twitter hashtag helps out Paris
The Paris attack was one of the most upsetting pieces of news this year. However, it did show how social media can be genuinely useful, not just as a way for people to shame others and get a kick out of doing so. The #portouverte hashtag was used to help people find shelter in the city, which was left in chaos for days after the event itself.
Predictably, the hashtag was rendered useless for a while as people yammered on about how great the idea was, totally flooding the rest of its feed. Now that wasn't the idea. However, we like to think it proved useful for some. It's the heart-warming side of social media, and one that has nothing to do with puppy videos.
UK's 'loneliest schoolboy' feels the love
The story of Aron Anderson might just make you cry. He's a kid who lives in the middle of nowhere on a tiny Island in the Shetlands, above Scotland. He's the only student at his primary school, and he counts his dog and a couple of ducks among his best mates. Seriously. It's a hard ol' life when you live on a tiny island. And let's remember: we're not dealing with a tropical island here. It's probably raining there, right now.
However, Reddit tried to remind Aron that he's not really alone. Usually a den of nerd debate, memes and crude jokes, Reddit worked to get Aron more Christmas cards then he's ever had before. His subreddit racked up more than 20,000 subscribers, arranging thousands of cards to hit the remote island. That'll warm your cockles right up, which Aron and his folks might need up there in the Hebrides, eh?
