Forget psychokinesis or X-ray vision - here's a superpower that would come in pretty useful these days: being able to instantly distinguish the decent superhero entertainment franchises from the enormous morass of dross we've been promised in the years to come.
Because while the last 15 years has proved a real golden age for comic fans, recent announcements - Legion! Hellfire! Krypton! New Mutants! Venom! - have had our Spidey scepticism senses tingling. Can we even summon the strength to care?
And yet eagle-eyed readers will have noticed a pattern to the above list: there's not a Marvel Studios entry on it. But why? What is it that gets us excited about Marvel's grand movie schedule when all we can do is raise a tired eyebrow for Sony's female-led Spider-Man spinoff? Read on and find out...
What the contenders are doing wrong
Fox is a leading contender for the most unbelievable list of projects supposedly under development thanks to its announcement incontinence. Remember X-Men spinoff X-Force - which was quietly taken out back and shot - and Fantastic Four 2, blithely failing to predict the universal panning the first film would receive?
In January, Fox revealed that an X-Men TV show was in development, which makes sense considering that the franchise has been their biggest hit, coupled with fond memories of the '90s cartoon. But now they're talking about Legion and Hellfire spinoffs - which would be unlikely choices at the best of times - and all this before the core show has moved anywhere.
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Channing Tatum's GambitGambit, too. Although we've got to hand it to Fox a little: against all odds, a Deadpool film is coming next year after a decade spent rotating over the merciless fires of Development Hell.
Sony got very excited off the back of the positive if not ecstatic reception of Andrew Garfield's Amazing Spider-Man debut and announced plans for a third and fourth film and all the spinoffs. Allegedly Sinister Six, Venom and that film-starring-a-female-character-that-we-won't-name-but-is-definitely-a-thing are still going concerns, but if that really is true we doubt we'll hear a peep until after Sony's second reboot (with Tom Holland donning the mask and unitard) is well under way.
Warner Bros and DC are currently hanging a lot of plans on the mixed reception of Man of Steel (we count ten films officially announced for 2016-2020), but at least they can bank on the runaway success of Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, as well as having Suicide Squad and Batman v Superman both locked in.
Outside the MCU (that's the Marvel cinematic universe to you), the biggest joined-up success has been The CW's DC shows: Arrow, The Flash and the upcoming Legends of Tomorrow. But Warner refuses to connect its film world to these popular shows, and we're not sure how the public will handle two different (Green) Arrows and even moreeven more.
The idea of Grant Gustin's cheeky smile on the big screen must be anathema to the serious folk at Warner, no matter how much Stephen Amell complains.
Why Marvel is winning
All this is evidence enough that a shared cinematic universe is the jewel in the crown of 21st century Hollywood, with every studio keen to plant its flag in the ground.
But among these grand plans, Marvel is the only studio to have actually made it happen. And what's more, it did it in a way that at least made it look like they earned the MCU, where the imitators want to shortcut straight to Avengers-style ensemble blockbusters.
Sure, back in 2008's Iron Man, Marvel seeded the idea of an Avengers film in a little post-credits Nick Fury/Samuel L Jackson scene, and they confirmed their plans off the back of the film's success. But the process continued at a steady pace, giving us Captain America, Thor and another Iron Man movie (without any major duds) before Avengers landed in 2012.
What mystery movies is Marvel planning for 2020 after Ant-Man and the Wasp?
And despite some director troubles, Marvel has a strong track record of announcing projects, and then delivering them, with not an Amazing Spider-Man 4 in sight. So when they tell us that they're partnering with Netflix on a series of interconnected shows, we're free to get excited rather than doubting that it will ever happen.
The excitement at reports that Spider-Man and, more recently, the Fantastic Four would be coming back under the Marvel umbrella are clear signs of the trust the studio has earned. The latter rumour was quickly shut down, but it was made abundantly clear that fans and commentators generally believe that the FF would be much safer with Marvel than in Fox's unreliable paws.
What's next?
Apart from some so far unsubstantiated rumours about the cancellation of Inhumans and the Iron Fist Netflix show, Marvel's record of delivering on its promises remains unbroken.
Its biggest potential rival looks to be Warner, which despite a past littered with abandoned projects (Justice League: Mortal, Superman Lives, Green Lantern 2) has a strong vision for the upcoming years. As Man of Steel is currently the only film in its new line that's been released, a shared universe (the DCCU?) is theirs to lose.
Fox needs to prove that it can make something other than a series of good X-Men movies - which does not a shared universe make. Sony is starting from scratch again, and looks to be hitching its wagon firmly to Marvel's star in the process.
The idea of overtaking Marvel, or what that could even mean, is hard to imagine - but would probably involve a global conquest of Loki-esque proportions. And if anyone is on that track, it's Marvel's parent company Disney. Remember: they're also planning to own Christmas for at least the next decade with a new Star Wars movie, origin flick or lucrative spinoff scheduled for release every year. You've been warned.
