Remakes are everywhere these days, from Memento to Don't Look Now, leaving movie fans around the world sighing into their R2-D2 coffee mugs. 

Us Brits get a particular bad go of it, with the following films from ol' Blighty getting casually desecrated by Hollywood types who thought they knew better. 

So before The King's Speech gets turned into The President's Speech, allow these bloopers to persuade any potential producers from making the same mistake again... 

Alfie (2004 / 1966)

In the '60s, Michael Caine's Alfie was a likeable charmer. In the '00s, Jude Law's Alfie was a smug twerp. What's worse, this isn't the only time Law has stepped into Caine's sizeable footwear, with 1972's Sleuth getting a similar "What did you do that for?" treatment in 2007. 

The Italian Job (1969 / 2003)

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What is it about Michael Caine and remakes? The second of three Caine originals to get hit with the American remake stick, this has Mark Wahlberg in the Charlie Croker role, with Jason Statham supplying the Cockney requirement as "Handsome Rob". Notoriously, Edward Norton only appeared in this due to a contractual obligation with Paramount. It... shows. 

Clash of the Titans (1981 / 2010)

Rolling Stone critic Peter Travers gave the remake one whole star, saying: "The film is a sham, with good actors going for the pay cheque and using beards and heavy makeup to hide their shame." He gave the sequel, Wrath of the Titans, a similar one-star drubbing: "It sucketh the mighty big one." You tell 'em, Peter. 

Straw Dogs (1971 / 2011)

It takes a very brave man to remake a Sam Peckinpah movie, and, um, Rod Lurie is that man. You know Rod Lurie, he did The Last Castle (2001), Resurrecting the Champ (2007) and Nothing but the Truth (2008). All your favourites... and the remake of Straw Dogs starring him off Ally McBeal and her off Superman Returns. 

Get Carter (1971 / 2000)

Sly Stallone regrets making several movies, publicly apologising for Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Oscar, Driven, Detox, Rhinestone and Get Carter. Still no word on Reach Me, Grudge Match or Spy Kids 3D, mind. 

Ladykillers (1955 / 2004)

Don't be too down on the Coen Brothers for this one. The Ealing Studios classic will always still be there, and the remake could have been so much worse. Originally set to be a Barry Sonnenfeld movie before he suddenly quit, the scriptwriters - that's The Coens, by the way - stepped in at the last minute to save the production from 'Let's just get some guy in' ignominy.   

Day of the Jackal (1973 / 1997)

This is a remake so bad, the director of the original campaigned successfully to change the title from Day of the Jackal to just The Jackal, while the author of the book both films are based on (Frederick Forsyth) publicly distanced himself from the movie. The keyword used in almost every review of the film is "tedious". 

Village of the Damned (1960 / 1995)

Horror legend John Carpenter remaking a classic British skin-crawler? This should have been brilliant, but it was not. At all. Come 2011, over 16 years later, Carpenter called the film a "contractual assignment" that he was "really not passionate about". Damn.