US TV critic Bruce Fretts looks back on a year of American television and names his own personal picks for the very worst of the year.
Remote Patrol: The Worst US TV of 2014
The Newsroom, True Blood and Californication, ya got lucky. I spared you from being included on my year-end 10 Worst TV Shows list, since HBO and Showtime already put you out of your (and our) misery. But when it comes to the rest of these crimes against television, I have no mercy.
10. State of Affairs
Tea Leoni as Madam Secretary? Sure. Katherine Heigl as the President's top national security adviser? That's a whole different state of affairs. And it gets worse: Heigl's character was once engaged to the POTUS' son before he was killed in a terrorist attack. No need for a Senate report - this show is torture.
9. The Comeback
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Why couldn't it just stay away? Lisa Kudrow's cringe-inducing (and not in a good way) 'comedy' about washed-up sitcom vet Valerie Cherish got cancelled by HBO nine years ago for a reason. It reeked more than Phoebe's 'Smelly Cat' from Friends, and the stench intensified over the hiatus.
8. American Horror Story: Freak Show
It's the latest example of Ryan Murphy Syndrome - like Nip/Tuck and Glee, AHS has to go more ludicrously over the top with each season. How so many great actors (Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, Angela Bassett, Michael Chiklis) are wasting their talents on cartoony caricatures is the real horror.
7. Tyrant
Exec producer Howard Gordon worked wonders getting Homeland back on track this season after it was hijacked by the Brody bunch. He'll need to pull off an even bigger miracle to redeem this Middle Eastern drama, which FX inexplicably renewed for season two. It's a creative oxymoron: overheated yet half-baked.
6. Selfie / Manhattan Love Story / A to Z / Marry Me
OK, it's official: the romantic comedy is dead - and so are three of these shows, thankfully (for some reason, NBC is still wed to Marry Me). At least we can be grateful CBS got cold feet and killed that awful-sounding How I Met Your Mother spinoff before it hit the air.
5. Mulaney
The Year's Most Disappointing Show stranded a stellar cast (including Martin Short and Elliott Gould) in a stale premise ripped straight off from Seinfeld. Only in this case, it was really a show about Nothing.
4. Stalker
Even creepier than Criminal Minds (and that's saying something!) this sick piece of garbage starring Maggie Q - who deserves better - and Dylan McDermott - who doesn't - practically created its own shameful genre: scripted exploit-ainment.
3. The Mysteries of Laura
She's a cop! And a mom! How does she do it? And why does NBC do it? Keep putting Debra Messing in crappy shows, that is. It's almost enough to make me miss Smash. Almost.
2. The Leftovers
This is the opposite of Lost in every way, including the fact that it sucks. Damon Lindelof's latest follows the poor souls left behind after a rapture-like event strikes Earth. It's so dreary and murky, you'll be praying for the end times.
1. I Wanna Marry 'Harry'
Oh, you didn't think I could do a 10 Worst list and not include at least one reality show, did you? This dud - about a group of dolts who are allegedly fooled into believing they are dating Prince Harry - was such a turd, Fox divorced itself after airing only two episodes. Now that's what I call a royal stinker.
Bruce Fretts is a veteran of both Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide Magazine, where he penned the wildly popular 'Cheers & Jeers' column for ten years.
