The pitch for Coach Trip would hardly make for gripping reading.
Barbara and Shirley from Huddersfield will make chocolate, have a poke round a cathedral and take a Segway tour of Prague as they travel across Europe with fellow holidaymakers.
It's a wonder that Channel 4 commissioned the programme at all. But unbelievably, the show has outlived many of its rivals and it has now been 10 years since guide Brendan Sheerin first pinned his name tag to his white shirt and embarked on the first tour on March 7, 2005.
Since then, we've had countless poorly-sung national anthems, endless trips to A&E and more stays in Novotels than we'd dare to count.
It's hard to pinpoint the precise magic of the coach and why we book return trips time and time again to our sofa at 5.30pm. Although suffice to say, a huge pull is Brendan.
With his friendly yet authoritative demeanor, the irrepressible tour guide can't resist a pair of eye-wateringly teeny tiny shorts, a filthy innuendo or disqualifying everyone and anyone in any activity.
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We have no idea how he manages it, but everyone on the coach completely loves him – even when he's taking the piss out of their poor geographical knowledge or he's giving out (unfairly earned, in our opinion) yellow cards for tardiness.
And he manages to keep a cool head in almost every situation. In series 9, Penelope and Donna missed breakfast. So when Brendan went to investigate, he knocked on their hotel room door only to have it slammed in his face.
"If you don't answer the door, we're going to have to go," he said. "I'm not talking to a door anymore. BYE!"
When he's not sorting out mardy tourists, Brendan is constantly full of beans and excited about taking part in every activity going. Stuffing his face with sweets or sabotaging a team's effort to build a teepee, he can't resist a bit of mischief.
And no matter how pleasant he is to the local who's giving a demonstration on sugarcraft, wrestling or pottery, he equally can't resist a bitchy aside to the camera later about how dull / good-looking / confused / grumpy they were.
Brendan would make a tour of a stationary cupboard exciting. Which brings us on to the activities.
They are as varied as they are bonkers. Milking a goat, pole dancing classes, lessons in laughter or a tour of a circus 'museum', which turns out to just be a back room in strange old man's house... Yep, you can do it all on Coach Trip!
The beauty of Coach Trip over the past 10 years is that absolutely nothing has changed in the format.
You can set your watch by the fact that every single episode will have the following formula: breakfast, coach, activity, lunch, coach, activity, vote.
You can argue that each episode having an identical order is repetitive and dull – and some billy nay-sayers might say as such.
But we like to think of it as wonderfully simple and sturdy. Thankfully, and very unusually, the producers haven't bowed to 'revamping' or 'tarting up' a show which clearly works so well.
Another eerily reliable element is the Coach Trippers themselves. At the start of the series, there's – without fail – two female pensioners, a man and woman who are 'just friends', a middle-aged grumpy married couple, a pair of attractive men who fancy the pair of attractive women and two oddball blokes who like LARPing.
It's this heady mix of personalities being squashed into a confined – and probably smelly – space which means that bust-ups and spats are commonplace.
One of our favourite couples of all time was Jolyon and Edward from series 8. Tensions with Donna & Claire had been bubbling away, as the two couples were the polar opposites of each other.
"You guys, literally, embarrass me and Ed," Jolyon fumed at the vote, as he got exasperated that they wouldn't try the local cuisine.
"Try the food for God's sake, get involved," he shouted. "How does that brain or whatever you call it up there actually work?" Ouch.
The votes themselves are brutal. As Brendan himself says: "Once it comes to the vote, they'll stab each other in the back just like everybody else!" They might try to cover up their true feelings with a simple plea of 'This is a tactical vote, as you're so lovely we didn't think anyone else would vote for you'. Come off it. We see you, and we see what you're up to.
While most of the barneys are usually petty, amusing affairs about a couple being too noisy in the hotel or not wanting to join in with an activity (miss that waterskiing session at your peril – it will almost certainly earn you a yellow card in the afternoon), occasionally the arguments get nasty.
In series two, a party was taking place on the coach when holidaymaker Bruce took offense. Spouting vileness to all and sundry, he had to be restrained in his seat. After ripping his microphone off, swearing and trying to assault a fellow passenger, the producers had to step in. This, thankfully, is a rarity. But it proves that anything does - and sometimes can - happen on board the coach.
For one reason or another, Channel 4 has tried to kill off Coach Trip on more than one occasion. In the show's history, there have been two hiatuses that have lasted three years, while bigwigs have attempted to push Brendan onto other vehicles.
We had Brendan's Magical Mystery Tour and Brendan's Love Boat – both which have sunk without a trace.
Thankfully, Channel 4 came to their senses and realised that all we really wanted was coach driver Paul, a lot of mini Spanish flags being waved around and plucky Brits zipwiring across lakes.
What sums up Coach Trip is the prize won at the end. As the remaining couples at the end of the tour – which typically lasts a month (yes, A MONTH) – vote for their favourite couple, the victors are handed the naffest prize on mainstream TV. A voucher for a coach holiday.
The joy of Coach Trip is its simplicity. In a world where reality TV is attempting to push boundaries and make headlines, this gloriously enjoyable and simple programme proves that a charming show can have more love and longevity with viewers than one with copious bells, whistles and public voting.
We wouldn't have it any other way.
