ITV's Splash!, the celebrity diving show that recovered from ridicule and a few flop performances early on to become the sleeper hit of 2013, is back!
Tonight five stars, including TOWIE's Gemma Collins and Hollyoaks favourite Gemma Merna, will cast aside their dressing gowns, prance over to the diving board in their skimpy swimsuits and attempt to pull out something better than a belly flop, all in a bid to impress mentor Tom Daley and us viewers.
Join Digital Spy from 7.20pm as hosts Gabby Logan and Vernon Kay present a shamelessly cheesy 90 minutes of gawking at celebrities' bodies before forcing them to fall from a great height. Go on, don't act like you won't be giving it a whirl...
20:50Thanks for joining us for the Splash! premiere live blog everyone. In what is surely the best bit of TV scheduling ever, the new series of Take Me Out is next up, so stay tuned. Nighty night - and we mean what we say about the "knacker knocker" GIF...
20:48We're sure Michaela appreciated Gabby pointlessly dropping in the fact that she's 47 years old, there. Anyway, she's through and it's all over! Next week will see five more celebrities, including DS's own Anna Williamson and a Speedo-clad Keith Duffy, taking the plunge.
20:44Michaela gets sent through in a judges' vote that's all a bit anticlimactic, really. There's not even any tense music. Gemma is thrilled to be out.
20:42And to decide which of them will make it through to the semis they're performing... exactly the same dives as last time. It's really only worth watching in case one them proper belly flops.
20:41Michaela and Gemma Collins are in the splash-off, leaving Ricky Groves and Gemma Merna to swim across the pool and pick up the easiest pay cheque ever.
20:39Congratulations to Perri! He's topped the vote tonight and has automatically won a place in the semi-finals. No shock there, really. He was the only one who did more that just flop forward.
20:35After the break, it's the result we've all been mildly interested in - who's going through to the Splash! semi-finals?
20:32We're back! We need to waste some time before the vote results, so we've got a boring chat between Vernon and the contestants, followed by a pretty impressive aquabatics routine featuring Tom Daley diving BUT ONLY IN A TUX. It's set to Madonna and Lady Gaga, just to butch it up a bit.
20:25So, who would you like to see go through to the Splash! semis, y'all? Personally, we think Gemma Collins should be rewarded for exposing her bruised boobs to the world.
20:22Vote lines are open, if that's the kind of thing you fancy spending your hard-earned income on. We're using the dive recap and ad break to reflect on all the wonderful innuendos that have cropped up tonight, "perfect entry point", "can you go harder?", etc. It's all a bit Carry on Splashing!
20:20Imagine the streak of orange (tan) that's been left in the water on Gemma's way out. Andy throws off a load of TOWIE buzz words and Gemma reluctantly smiles. We're sure she definitely doesn't get people doing that every time she walks down Brentwood High Street. She's got 18.5 and is just above Gemma Merna on the leaderboard.
20:15Gemma's a bit bruised underneath that sensible cocktail dress she's elected to dive in. She's terrified, but milking it for all it's worth. Good on 'er.
20:13Gemma obviously drew the short straw for TOWIE reality show spots this season. Sam Faiers gets to sit around in a luxury home with Lionel Blair, Gem has to throw herself into a vat of water.
20:11Right, here's the moment we've all been waiting for (and we know exactly why, you meanies) - it's the turn of TOWIE star Gemma Collins to make the leap.
20:07Oh Harry Maxwell, you stirrer!
Perri's old enough for Caroline Flack now #Splash
ā Harry Maxwell (@HarryMaxwell) January 4, 2014
20:05Oh Leon, stop trying to be bloody Simon Cowell. He's once again "disappointed", but Jo and Andy think he's being too picky. Perri tops the board with 25 points. No wonder he's favourite to win.
20:03Oh bloody hell, throwing yourself off something that high backwards? No thanks. But for Perri, it's a breeze. That's what being tossed around by Ashley Banjo for a living does for you - no fear.
20:02Next up is little Perri from Diversity, who apparently is 18. 18! He's a bit of a daredevil, having already conquered the 10m board, but his glasses are his kryptonite.
20:00God, with that much buzz about her, we reckon 'Jackie on Reception' could qualify for Splash! 2015, no problem.
19:56This includes us, if anyone can shed some light...
So many people in my timeline wanting to know where Tom's jumper is from. Proof that I follow the right people. #splash
ā Steven Perkins (@stevenperkins) January 4, 2014
19:54"I'm so frustrated it's unbelievable", says Andy. We're not surprised with Gemma in that outfit. It's a pretty measly score of 18 for her easy dive, but a big personal triumph, we imagine.
19:51A hilariously simple dive there from Hollyoaks. We know that was probably very hard for her, given that she's terrified of everything, but we can't help but scoff juuuuust a little.
19:50Blimey, Gemma Merna's looking a bit bling. She's scared of heights and panics when her face is in the water, apparently, but at least she's got 'great form' (no kidding).
19:48Jo says that Ricky's dive "worked pretty well", but Leon was a bit "disappointed" that he took the easy route. Consensus seems to be that it was less difficult, but more flashy than Michaela's, and they both get the same score - 21.
19:45Yep, that's...that's a dive. You know it's really not that easy to describe what is basically falling...
19:45Next up is former Eastenders star Ricky Groves. He's done both Strictly AND Celebrity Coach Trip, so this is nice reality TV middle ground for him. We've been assured that "he's up for it", at least when he isn't slamming his downstairs into water at 40mph. Also, can someone please GIF Tom saying "knacker knocker", please? It's for a friend...
19:41Oh yes, Dancing on Ice is back for its final all-stars series tomorrow. Do you reckon they just freeze the Splash! pool?
19:38We're glad that Splash! haven't got rid of the awkward bit after each dive where a soaking wet celebrity barges in to Tom's interview with Gabby Logan. After all, this show's strength is in its cringe factor.
19:36Jo praises her with a nice bit of alliteration (oh yes, we did AS English), while Leon says it would be "perfect" for a greater height. It's 21 points for Michaela!
19:34Tom has high hopes for Michaela, even with her sore bum and stiff neck. It seemed like an ok dive, maybe a little closer to smashing her face into the water than she would have liked. What do the experts think?
19:32Right, we've done enough perving for now, let's bring on out first contestant - wildlife lady Michaela Strachan. As an avid viewer of The Really Wild Show when younger, this is throwing up some lovely nostalgic CBBC thrills. All it needs is Katy Hill and everything would be perfect.
19:30"There's not many people who wear more clothes to bed than they do to work," says Tom. GULP.
19:29Never say Splash! doesn't know what its audience wants - we're treated to an extended footage of Tom Daley doing his thing in trunks. We approve of his subtle face fuzz too.
19:28We love that there's no big X Factor-style unveiling of the judges on this show. It brings back fond memories of when Geri Halliwell turned up to Postars: The Rivals auditions in a Puffa jacket.
19:27Fine, out of respect for people who have done significantly better things than us, we'll actually name them - Olympic medalist Leon Taylor and diving coach Andy Banks. Welcome to you both.
19:25Here are the judges...it's the same lot as year - Jo Brand (no, still no idea why either), whatshisface and thingy! Love them!
19:23Gabby and Vernon are out, and those screams can only mean one thing...here's ambassador to the LGBT (Lovely Guys with Bright Teeth) community, Tom Daley!
19:21Ah, Katy Perry and so, so much neon. We feel about 77% camper already.
19:21Here we go! It's a very exciting opening montage. People are flailing about in the air, Tom Daley's wincing, Gemma Collins is crying. Should be a good show!
19:20So, we're just curious, who here is sticking around for Splash! having watched the Arsenal V Spurs game? There can't be much crossover, has to be said.
19:16Evening everybody. Well, this is a bit exciting, isn't it? Splash! was probably our top guilty pleasure of last year, so we're very, very happy that it's back. To get in the spirit we're sitting on the couch in a Speedo and we've hired an assistant to moisten us at regular intervals. We'll just let that image linger...
