By The X Factor auditions are finally over and tonight we're through to Boot Camp, the source of some of X Factor's all-time best moments (Zayn Malik throwing a strop and refusing to dance, anyone?) It certainly looks as though we're in for our fair share of drama tonight.
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Grab a cup of tea (or a bottle of wine, a beer and a few double voddies if you feel like emulating some of the more dramatic contestants), read up on some backstage gossip and secrets from filming and join us live from 7pm as we bring you all the action as it happens.
20:59And so that's the episode over! There were ups, there were downs, there were tantrums, there were a LOT of missed lyrics. Judging from next week's preview it looks like we are set for even more drama - join us from Sunday, September 27 at 7pm and we'll be liveblogging it all!
20:56Everyone makes it through! They're all thrilled and their happiness is infectious. What a great performance to end the episode!
20:54The group perform 'Proud Mary', and what a surprise, some of them forget the words. The performance however, is still incredible - 4th Power obviously slay all your faves with an incredible performance whilst retaining impeccable hair. Louisa also looks and sounds incredible. Our favourite thing is how willing 4th Power are to gleefully dance and point in the background and let the others have their moment when it isn't their turn to sing. Teamwork at its very best.
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20:50Joining 4th Power are Louisa Johnson, Neneth Lyons, Jasmine Leigh Morris, Andre Batchelor and Sherilyn Hamilton Shaw. Here's a fun fact about Louisa Johnson: her Twitter handle is literally @louisa. How much do we think that cost?
20:494TH POWER ARE BACK! We've been waiting weeks for this!
20:45We're excited for 4th Power too... only fifteen minutes left of the episode so they can't be far off!
Let's be honest. We're all just waiting for 4th power. #XFactor
— gracie von fostiur (@gracievfostiur) September 20, 2015
20:44Joining Stephanie we have Lucy Duffield, Charli Beard, James McDowell, and Ankush Khana. They sing 'Be My Baby', and yet MORE words are forgotten. We can't believe how many times people have forgotten words during this episode - how would they all cope on tour? This isn't forgivable! The girls do very well, and ultimately everyone in the group makes it through except James.
20:39Next up we have Stephanie McCourt, who you may remember making the unforgivable error during her audition of thinking it was acceptable to Johnlewisificate 'Shake it Off'. SHAKE IT OFF. The one song we all thought was safe. What's next? 'The Cha Cha Slide'?
20:38Nick comments that he'll be "struck off from the radio" if Castellio get through. We enjoy the image of some form of government radio council ensuring that all DJs must be able to recognise musical incompetence at all times and enforce disciplinary action on those who do not comply. Unsurprisingly, Castellio aren't through.
20:36Enough patio heaters, more performances. The group kick off with 'Blank Space', and once again hardly anyone knows the words. "Darling, I'm a nightmare dressed like a daydream", the sassiest line in recent pop music, is sung as if it's on a grocery list. Castellio kind of wander around bobbing awkwardly in the background whilst the others give it their all.
20:34As a side note, can we discuss how lovely those patio heaters look?
20:34Next up we have Kiera Weathers, Castellio, Kelli-Mai Webb, Lochei and Docibellas. There's a lot of tension in the group, with Castellio refusing to rehearse with the others as they are not happy with the song choice ('Blank Space', again - is it cursed). There's a wonderful use of Britney's 'Circus' as background music as Castellio kick off to Alan, the poor researcher.
20:30A question that will keep us awake tonight.
If you got through on X Factor and had to ring to tell someone, who would have the best scream? I don't have screamy family or friends.
— Jenni (@jennifogg) September 20, 2015
20:25The group sing 'What a Wonderful World'. Jamie is so EXACTLY like Olly that it's all we can think about. You think that he'd dye his hair green or something so he'd stand out. The performance is lovely, and strangely following it we feel that we could do with it being Christmas. Everybody gets through except Andy. We'd make a joke about our hearts melting but we're too upset.
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20:21Next up we've got Jamie "Olly Murs lookalike" Benkert, Josh Daniel, Mon Amie, Ben Clark, and Andy Taylor the ice cream man. An Olly Murs lookalike and an ice cream man walk into a bar... No, we can't finish that.
20:19Everybody makes it through to the next round except Sophie. We're surprised after that lacklustre performance, but we suppose the judges know best.
20:16The group sing 'Man in the Mirror'. We can't help but feel that it's a tired choice and this performance doesn't really go anywhere. The group explain there were issues with deciding what key to sing in; we can't profess to know literally anything about singing in key, but we know when something is actively unpleasant to listen to, and this is it.
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20:14Next up we have Simon Lynch, Tom Bleasby, Karen May, Joseph McCaul and Sophie Stott. Simon's from the Isle of Man, and rather bleakly, comments that where he's from "dreams stay dreams." We've never been to the Isle of Man, but we're sure it's not that bad. He has an amazing mannerism of constantly rolling his eyes every time Tom speaks.
20:10A valid point.
But will she be a nightmare dressed like a daydream, Simon?
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— m ♡ r k (@howvery_) September 20, 2015
20:05Princess gets in a taxi and slams the door shut in one expertly fluid dramatic moment that we'll be practising at length later.
20:05Papasidero and Sophie Plumb make it through. Monica almost doesn't make it, but then Simon changes his mind at the very last minute. Princess is NOT happy, and during one of the finest examples of cameraman craftmanship we have ever seen, crashes Monica's exit interview to throw herself on the ground and start punching it.
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20:02We promised ourselves that when liveblogging X Factor we'd try not to turn into a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, but there's only one phrase for it: this performance of 'Blank Space' is a hot mess. Hardly anyone knows the words and it just both looks and sounds uncomfortable.
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19:59Next up we have returnee Monica "earrings that could orbit Saturn" Michaels, Princess "My Little Pony" Diamond, Papasidero, the oddly-named Batz in Da Belfry, and the brilliantly named Sophie Plumb. Unfortunately there has been tension between Princess and Monica which makes Ryan's outburst earlier look like a quiet disagreement during a particularly relaxed yoga class. It's all very uncomfortable to watch and we haven't felt this strongly reminded of a school playground in a while.
19:56Cheryl asks Gifty and Red Nile to step forward, but it turns out she's just messing with them - the whole group are through! Not a surprise given that brilliant performance.
19:55The performance of 'All About That Bass' is great and the group have incredible chemistry. Anton forgets the words, but he styles it out and is so likeable doing it that we aren't that bothered.
19:52The next group includes Anton the backing singer who nailed his audition and claims to be 45 when he doesn't look a day over 23, Red Nile, Danny Sharples, Gifty Louise and Mason Noise. They're going to sing 'All About That Bass', which Anton is not familiar with.
19:48Check out this blast from the past! (We feel eight billion years old)
If you're watching #XFactorBootCamp and recognise My Bad Sister, they used to be The Home Farm Twins, aww pic.twitter.com/diq0FA0FLL
— Digital Spy (@digitalspy) September 20, 2015
19:45Lauren is put in a group with Jade McGuire, Tribe, Nathaneal Landskroner and JoJo Desmond. They perform 'Man in the Mirror'. We're not sure how we feel about this one. It's competent, but is it really that exciting? The judges agree, and Simon is disappointed. He asks Lauren why she didn't do well, and reminds her that it's a competition. She gets through, but only after a real dressing down. We expect she feels two centimetres tall right now.
19:40Lauren "Dental Receptionist" Murray is back. We would like to start a movement for all the ordinary people's jobs that are forever put down on every single X Factor series. What's so wrong with being a dental receptionist? Personally, we can only IMAGINE the aggro that dealing with people in that kind of pain would bring on a daily basis, and think the job definitely deserves some respect.
19:39We're not sure if Seann Miley Moore is what the Eagles had in mind when they wrote 'Hotel California', but his performance is brilliantly bizarre and goes down well with the judges.
19:38MONTAGE KLAXON. A few acts are shown without much backstory. Simon makes an interesting comment about girl group Alien -"Alien didn't act like they were with other people, they made it seem like it was all about them. And that's how you succeed in the music business." We aren't sure how good life advice this is for any young people watching - and acting like it was all about him didn't exactly help Ryan earlier!
19:31A valid observation on Jennifer from Twitter.
This lady only sings songs related to the name Mary
— Abi B (@mizzban) September 20, 2015
19:30Bupsi, Jennifer and BEKLN have made it through. Stephanie unfortunately hasn't made it, but shows class by thanking the judges and wishing them a nice day (take note, Ryan!). Everyone is very kind and supportive, and Nick gets up to give her a big hug.
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19:28Poor Stephanie "Fringe" Beeby has forgotten her words. We feel terrible for her!
19:27The group kick off their performance of 'Proud Mary'. We don't know about you, but we're sitting here with a huge grin across our face - everyone in this group clearly gets on, and this performance is sensational.
19:25BEKLN's audition of 'Hold Back the River' was so good. We personally think that 'Hold Back the River' should join 'Budapest' in the hall of Songs That Are So Dull They Could Be Sleep Aids, but as our beloved Louis Walsh would say, BEKLN really "made it their own".
19:23We're back to the formation of another group - Jennifer, BEKLN, Stephanie Beeby, Israel Allen and Bupsi. We're reminded of some of their auditions. Jennifer sang 'Shackles (Praise You)' and the UK suffered a minor earthquake due to the population's collective eye roll when Cheryl said "you took us to CHURCH, girl" in a terrible American accent. Bupsi was accused of being "too nice" by Simon, but luckily then showed she could live up to her PVC midi skirt. Stephanie Beeby was more fringe than human.
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19:19Ryan hasn't gone down very well on Twitter, either.
Like watching a train crash. Into an orphanage. For kittens. On Christmas. #Xfactor
— Raoul Goat (@HyperbolicGoat) September 20, 2015
19:17Simon describes Ryan as a "horror of a human being", much to Cheryl's amusement. Ryan leaves in a taxi, ranting to the driver as he leaves. We would love to know what he carried on with once the taxi ride was off camera.
19:15The group perform 'Anything Can Happen', but Ryan unfortunately does not know the words. He finishes the performance by dipping it low, but that won't save him now. The judges have not been at all impressed with his unprofessional attitude. Everyone makes it through except Ryan, which is no surprise
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19:12It is time for Ryan and the rest of his group to perform for the judges. Rita has arrived dressed as a Rubik's cube. There's a bit of tension on stage - Ryan declares he hates the song, the arrangement, absolutely everything. Caroline comments, delighted, "they're having a BIT OF A SQUABBLE." In another life she'd make a great busybody neighbour.
19:10Ryan, Katie, Samantha, Silver Tone and Alex get together and form a group. Ryan is not happy with the choice of song - 'Anything Can Happen' by Ellie Goulding - and has already declared he "hates it all" and has stormed off to order a vodka and orange. Ryan comments that this experience is more stressful than his job at an office. It comes to mind that most people who work in offices can't storm off and give ill-advised interviews next to swimming pools if we get difficult emails.
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19:07The contestants are told to gather in groups of five, with at least three different categories in each group. They are fighting over each other and picking alliances. It's quite brutal. It reminds us of what it was like to try and be picked for netball as a teenager who spent all their free time talking about The X Factor.
19:05Everyone has gathered outside the house and is waiting for the judges. Olly cries gleefully that "they have no IDEA what's coming." "This is X Factor. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN," muses a contestant. Rita once again comments on survival. It would be amazing if this did actually turn out to be The Hunger Games.
19:03Downton Abbey hasn't started two hours early - that is actually the amazing house that Boot Camp is being held at. We wonder if you can hold X Factor-themed weddings there? IMAGINE THE CAKE.
19:01Thousands have applied. 180 remain. Rita comments: "This is when you prove to us you can survive." Is this The X Factor or The Hunger Games?
18:59We're almost there - get the kettle on!
18:51Less than ten minutes now. Do you think that Simon Cowell watches X Factor live as it's on? Do you think he's excited? What do you think he wears? We think probably a crushed velvet dressing gown.
18:47We can't help but feel rugby would be easier to engage with if the players' backstories were properly fleshed out and occasionally 'You Raise Me Up' was played after a particularly motivational scrum.
18:42Still 17 minutes to go. We suppose the most important thing to consider at this stage instead of New Zealand versus Argentina is: why isn't footage of Mary Byrne shimmying during her own Boot Camp readily available on YouTube? If you're reading, let us know your all time favourite Boot Camp moment in the comments.
18:34Hi everyone! We've still got half an hour to go until the first episode of Boot Camp (already? We are AVALANCHING into Christmas) but if you fancy some spoilers we've got all the information about who's been grouped with who for the group challenge.
