Soaps love to match up ridiculously unlikely couples and persuade us that sure, this would happen.
Researching this involved stumbling across a picture of Deirdre and Dev in bed together, by the way, so you owe us. You owe us big...
1. Barry Evans, EastEnders
In real life, could never pull Janine Butcher
This is a lesson to all who punch above their weight in soap; one day, your other half may shove you off a cliff where you will plunge to your death. Seems tempting to find someone less beautiful and young now, doesn't it?
2. Donald Fisher, Home and Away
In real life, could never pull Marilyn Chambers
Got together when Marilyn was 27 and hot and Don was 51 and grumpy. They went on to have a child, Byron, but split up when Byron sadly passed away. After their relationship came to an end, Donald was last known going to visit Marilyn in England where in real life, her alter ego was also busy being in Emmerdale. Confusing. Yes.
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3. Bradley Branning/Max Branning, EastEnders
In real life, could never pull Stacey Slater
Yes yes, that is a set of father-and-son names you see up there, and the name of only one woman. Max slept with Stacey behind his son Bradley's back. But let's be frank: both of them were very, very lucky to get a shot at Stacey Slater.
4. Tyrone Dobbs, Coronation Street
In real life, could never pull Maria Sutherland
Back in the day, Tyrone and Maria were childhood sweethearts. Maria soon moved on to more... let's say "traditionally handsome" men (Oh, Liam! Oh, Luke!) but since she's currently having sex with someone else's fella with a prison tag on her ankle – while Ty is in a happy relationship – and since she also tried to get Ty back in a weird storyline a couple of years ago, she might regret being so shallow.
5. Lou Carpenter, Neighbours
In real life, could never pull Annalise Hartman
Lou and Annalise get together when Lou was Annalise's landlord but split up when her mum told him she was only 17 and he was… well, old enough to have been at school with Harold Bishop. It wasn't the only major difference between them though; see Annalise's ridiculously beautiful face for more details.
6. Phil Mitchell, EastEnders
In real life, could never pull Dawn Swann
Not the first or the last time that Phil Mitchell has pulled it out of the bag with a hot young woman despite being a heady combination of mean, bald and quite old, but Dawn was the hottest and youngest of them all. Dawn had form though: she was sleeping with Phil behind boyfriend Garry's back. Garry was not Brad Pitt.
7. Tony Hutchinson, Hollyoaks
In real life, could never pull Mandy Richardson
Serial above-weight-puncher Tony has had a line-up of women that a 21-year-old Premiership footballer would probably be impressed by, but it was back in the day when he married gorgeous Mandy that his punching ways began. Since then he's dated/slept with/married Jacqui McQueen, Cindy Cunningham, Mercedes McQueen, Theresa McQueen and about 413 others, all of whom live in the same village, obviously.
8. Paddy Kirk, Emmerdale
In real life, could never pull Chas Dingle
Paddy has a decent track record with the ladies but when he pulled Chas, we all did a slow clap from our sofas. Nice work, Paddy. Sadly, in the end, Chas went back to her ex Carl which meant it was all over for them. Don't rule out another round, though – the spark between these two is often there in the background.
9. Jamie Hope, Emmerdale
In real life, could never pull Louise Appleton
The second time actor Emily Symons has appeared in this list, first as Marilyn in Home and Away when she was married to Donald Fisher. Someone give Emily a break! Jamie and Louise started off as a one-night stand but ended up being together for a long time, even getting engaged and moving to Australia.
10. Dev Alahan, Coronation Street
In real life, could never pull Deirdre Barlow
We imagine that Dev thought Deirdre was the one punching above her weight when they had soap's weirdest and creepiest ever one-night stand in 2001, but he was wrong. Deirdre was a goddess. Just ask Samir. Basically, this was the luckiest night of Dev's life.
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