It's Night of Champions, and that means every WWE championship is up for grabs in one way or another. There are rematches from SummerSlam in the form of Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz and Brock Lesnar vs John Cena - and a whole host of other matches that neither inspire or make me want to order the WWE Network.
The biggest news going into Night of Champions is that Roman Reigns has had to have surgery and been ruled out of the event (and, indeed wrestling) for the foreseeable future. The lack of riveting storylines over the past month has damaged interest in the show, nothing new seems to be brewing and the lack of Bray Wyatt really stands out when looking at the card.
WWE Night of Champions 2014: Match card preview and predictions
We're introduced to Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and John 'Bradshaw' Layfield, and soon The Usos are out to defend their WWE Tag Team titles against Goldust and Stardust.
WWE Tag Team Championship: The Usos vs Goldust and Stardust
We've seen this match-up a million times previously and it followed exactly the same pattern until the closing stretch when both parties seemed to remember that they had grudges against each other, and the crowd subsequently got hot.
It was the perfect match to put in the opener, as aside from a couple of poorly-placed rest holds, it was fast-paced and full of action, even if it was over-familiar action.
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Stardust's vicious streak is very impressive, and as he and Goldust morph into glittery super villains, they become the key heel tag team in a division that is wafer thin and dying for The Ascension to get called up from NXT.
Goldust's senton to the outside whilst one of The Usos hit a swan dive on Stardust was probably the best spot of the night, and got an insane pop.
The finish comes when Stardust rolls up Jey Uso with a Schoolboy after the later misses a splash from the top rope. Thus, we have our new creepy tag team champions, and these two teams will likely carry on feuding with each other.
Winners: Goldust and Stardust
WWE United States Championship: Sheamus vs Cesaro
This was exactly the brutal, physical brawl everybody was hoping for. It became clear it wouldn't last too long when the two big men started at full speed straight away and never really let up for the duration.
Watching two big dudes trying to smash each other like a piece of raw meat will never, ever get tiring and despite the pummelling, both men broke out some unusual and rarely-seen moves.
Sheamus hit Cesaro with an Iconclasm and Cesaro nailed a ridiculous looking Alpamare Waterslide on a man the wrong side of 250lbs. Cesaro played the heel perfectly, continually slapping Sheamus, and it eventually sent the Irishman into a frenzy.
The whole match was a tightly contested back-and-forth affair and both men got very stiff with each other, landing lots of nasty uppercuts and punches to the face. Sheamus eventually hit the Brogue Kick out of nowhere for the win to end a great match in a feud that needs to continue but have some flavour added to it.
Winner: Sheamus
WWE Intercontinental Championship: Dolph Ziggler vs The Miz
I will never like anything The Miz does, and especially won't like a Miz match that involves Florida Georgia Line (who?) on commentary and Damien Sandow dressed up as Miz's stunt double, so shenanigans were expected from the off.
So the match had five commentators, none of whom talked about the action, but instead found time to crack dumb jokes and take selfies. These two had a good match at SummerSlam, but don't get your hopes up for this one - it's a complete dirge, and Ziggler deserves so much more than whatever this was.
The Florida Georgia Line guys beat up Damien Sandow and R-Truth, who is Ziggler's own stunt-double for some reason, chases them off and Miz traps Ziggler in a Figure Four Leg Lock, which the show off sells beautifully.
The hold is broken and Sandow reappears to distract Ziggler and eats a superkick for his troubles, before Miz grabs a handful of tights to roll up Ziggler and steal the title.
Winner: The Miz
Seth Rollins vs Roman Reigns
Rollins wins the actual match by forfeit as Reigns is in a hospital somewhere, so the brash young man issued an open challenge to any member of the roster - and who else appears to accept, but Dean Ambrose!
The match never officially began as the two brawled all over the arena, with the wild man Ambrose laying a beating on the Money in the Bank briefcase holder.
Seth Rollins: 'People underestimate me - they always have my entire career'
The Authority and their goons come out to save Rollins - but not before Ambrose gives them all an elbow drop off part of the stage.
Rollins escapes after Ambrose is finally suppressed - but this feud is back up and running and that can only be a good thing, as Ambrose is pure gold and probably the most entertaining man in the entire company.
Winner: Seth Rollins
Rusev vs Mark Henry
WWE are still going at full-speed with the slightly uncomfortable nationalistic angle, and Mark Henry is the next man up to try and serve Rusev some humble pie. That didn't happen.
What did happen however was an extended squash match that made Rusev look terrific.
It wasn't exactly good to watch, but it served a purpose and the crowd were fully behind Henry especially after Lillian Garcia sang the national anthem, but the big bad Russian was just too much for the Olympian.
Henry sold like a star and made Rusev look good and it definitely pushes the younger man forward, likely in the direction of John Cena at some point.
Rusev is a star in the making, especially with Lana, and wins with The Accolade. Not a good match, but within kayfabe, it couldn't have gone better.
Winner: Rusev
Randy Orton vs Chris Jericho
I don't really know why these two are wrestling and as it's not 2004, I don't really care. Orton is the most natural heel in the company and Jericho is a corpse of his former self, but they combine for a solid match that is surely better than what anybody expected.
Jericho is obviously finishing up with the company again and Orton remains in purgatory. He's wrestled everybody on the roster several times over, and there just isn't anything interesting for him to do other than a feud with Dean Ambrose after he's finished with Seth Rollins.
Chris Jericho: 'I know how CM Punk feels'
As for the match, both men got their regular spots in and there are lots of near-falls that the crowd seemed very into. Jericho's comeback was when the crowd really got invested, as it's hard to whip yourself into a frenzy when Orton is methodically stamping someone.
The finish with Jericho's flying crossbody being countered into an RKO looked fantastic. Orton makes wrestling look very easy, but there was no emotion in this.
Winner: Randy Orton
WWE Divas Championship: Paige vs AJ Lee vs Nikki Bella
The Evil Bella is in this match for what reason? Paige and AJ have got a damn good feud going on at the moment, and don't need the added interference of the Bella Twins. Nikki can't do the simplest of moves correctly and looks exposed against two decent technicians in Paige and AJ.
It was the worst match of the night, never really clicking - though the good news is the Paige and AJ feud should continue with Nikki going back out of the picture. The crowd being dead didn't help matters, but the booking was poor and there was just nothing to care about.
The underlying sexual tension between Paige and AJ needs to be halted immediately also, because there is no chance of WWE not being crass and offensive if it goes down that dark road. AJ winning with her Black Widow was a surprise and the flip-flopping of the Divas title helps nobody, but at least the feud continues.
Winner: AJ Lee
WWE World Heavyweight Championship: Brock Lesnar vs John Cena
There was no way this could have lived up to their match at are rematches from SummerSlam where Brock Lesnar treated John Cena like a ragdoll, but I didn't think it would be as bad as it was. The finish, or lack of one, ruined everything that had gone before it and just screams of a lack of direction on WWE's part.
Cena hit an AA a minute into the bout to really flip the tables on the champion and shock every wrestling fan on the planet. Brock powered out at 1 and the fight was on. Lesnar's suplexes are so explosive that every one looks like it might snap poor Cena's neck in half. Cena kept fighting and actually got quite a bit of offence in, but he ate so much punishment, including an incredible Three Amigos.
The two men battled like warriors, and the whole match had a very realistic feel to it. Cena hit AA after AA and it still wasn't enough. Brock refused to tap to the STF, and this was the best Cena has looked in a very long time. He had a serious intensity to him that is far too often found wanting.
Cena hits a huge fourth AA, but Seth Rollins appears from nowhere to break the pin-up and hammer the challenger with his briefcase, thus ending the match in a disqualification.
The finish was an awful way to end the show and the only logic behind it is that they want to do Lesnar-Cena 3 inside at Hell in a Cell, which is a hugely entertaining prospect but doesn't make up for the feeling of robbery here.
Lesnar was the man left standing as after Cena chased off Rollins, he took a gigantic F-5 and the champ stood tall. I don't know where they're going here with Rollins, but I don't like it. Keep him with Ambrose for a few more months, please.
That being said, the storytelling in this match was perfect and the WWE style at its very best.
Winner: John Cena by DQ (Brock Lesnar retains the WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Verdict:
Despite having middling expectations going in, this was an above average event, though it probably left more questions than answers. Dean Ambrose is back, but what role will he play if Seth Rollins is going to be in the title picture? Lesnar and Cena are going to do it for a third and likely final time next month, but there are still far too many wrestlers with nothing significant going on.
Sheamus vs Cesaro should have meant more and Ziggler vs Miz shouldn't have been treated like a joke. Both matches were for titles, yet treated like just another match. The main event was excellent until its conclusion - and if you can't get the finish right, then it's pointless doing anything else. Night of Champions was good, no doubt - but I can't help but feel a few minor tweaks would have made it great.
Sam Moore is a culture writer from the UK, writing mainly about film, TV and music for the likes of The Guardian, GQ, The Independent and many more. He is currently working on a book about the making of Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy.
