Being boring

Comments I wrote a week ago

I suppose it was fairly obvious that David and Shanessa would be the ones to get the old heave ho and it's not a decision I'd have disagreed with. I can't say that I'd taken to either of them but on reflection, we have been left with a better show had we kept these two colourful characters over the entertainment free zone that is Catchphrase Tracey and the almost invisible Kara Louise.

The thing about watching Shanessa and her antics was that it was a bit like swan necking at a crash on the motorway. You know you really shouldn't be looking but you just can't help taking a peek. We've denied ourselves the opportunity of watching Ziggy squirm, as Shanessa would undoubtedly have pursued him in much the same way as Pepé Le Pew used to amorously chase terrified cats in those classic Merrie Melodies cartoons.

As shown by her refusal to even attempt the mayonnaise task, she would undoubtedly have brought controversy and conflict to the house and it would have been good to see how her relationship with Amy would have developed.

David would have brought that vital ingredient in that he was obviously a bit of a stirrer, a bit of a plotter and a bit of a schemer. It just seemed that he wasn't all that good at it, which always makes for a decent narrative. One of the key contributions he made while there was that he was able top expose the dark side of some housemates merely by colluding with them. This has given plenty of ammo for the anti-Gerry brigade now that his bitchy nature has been put under the microscope.

Of the new intake that survived, I'm finding it increasingly difficult to care about any of them. Jonty still seems as though he's wondered down from a different planet but he seems polite and courteous and mostly harmless. Kara- Louise's main contribution seems to have been that she's just so bland that even the twins seem interesting in comparison. We really need a significant event around her if she's just not to fade into the décor.

The biggest splash seems to have been made by Amy and she's already managed to hook up with Liam but there was a "so what" factor to this particular liaison even as it was unfolding. It's difficult to get interested in a burgeoning house relationship when the protagonists don't seem all that bothered.

I'm glad that all the Halfway House chopping and changing has finally come to an end because it really didn't capture my imagination and was a pretty poor reworking of Aisleyne's Yard from last year.

It's amazing the effect Big Brother can have on the English language and every year a piece of vocabulary will become prevalent in the house and then seep like toxic ooze into the outside world. Step forward then Tracey, who has managed to get "sketchy" into the public consciousness. The influx of strangers into the house led to this being most overused word of the week in the house and sadly, as humans learn by the repetition, I'm now starting to hear the phrase used in pubs and on public transport.

Hopefully the phrase will be short-lived but Brian –a man who clearly loves his sound bites – doesn't seem to be able to get through a sentence without using the word at the moment.

This week's comments

I think it was fairly telling that when attempting to write a column last week, I quickly ran out of things to say. It's worse this week.

The whole time travel thing was yet another example of a theme that seemed uninspiring to the housemates and dull as ditchwater for us poor viewers. Tricks like allowing housemates to see who nominated them are old hat now and you'd think producers could be a tad more original with their twists.

There seems to a general lack of creativity in the production this year. I wouldn't blame the casting, these housemates could be a very good bunch to watch but only if given the right hoops to jump through. Left to their own devices they are stunningly inert, with the exception of Carole, who was a joy at the beginning but whose nagging must get on her roommates nerves because it's certainly got on mine.

If the new influx of housemates were supposed to make life more interesting they've had the opposite effect and in Amy, we've now managed to evict the only one of them that would have any mileage in her.

Now Amy may well have gone into that house with the key aim of furthering her glamour model career but she achieved that the moment she walked through the door. What I would have liked to see was a manipulative schemer out to get her own way and stamp her mark on the house. I'd have liked that and goodness knows we could do with the drama but all I could see was a woman with a big nose and big breasts who quite fancied a shag. I know that's shallow but watching this – one of the dullest ever seasons of the show – makes you shallow.

Jonty seems so lost in his little world that you have to wonder whether he'd be bothered if all the other housemates disappeared. I've tried to be interested in Kara-Louise but it's really not happening.

It's interesting that despite their obvious differences and divides, the longer standing housemates largely stood together when it came to nominations, dooming the interlopers to face the public vote.

The key exception to this was Ziggy who put Gerry up, something for which he probably deserves a round of applause. Don't get me wrong; I 've nothing in particular against Gerry though I find his preciousness at little hard to stomach at times.

The reason I think Ziggy deserves an accolade is that he's been far more genuine and less worried about the image he's been putting over in recent days. I'm certainly not saying that I like the guy but I certainly dislike him a little less as his true personality emerges.

Shame it took so long though.