Married at First Sight UK has been exceptionally difficult to watch at times this season – and we're not talking about the lack of compatibility among some of its couples.
Sure, we were as devastated as the next person that Kieran and Kristina's fairytale wedding didn't get the Happily Ever After they both deserved. And a number of apparent 'leaks' – if to be believed – have spoiled some of the relationship outcomes before we even have a chance to make it to final vows.
But beyond all of that, some of the behaviour – particularly from a number of the grooms on the show – has made for uncomfortable viewing at best, toxicity at worst.
In one of the more recent episodes, we heard Sacha describe that her husband got so angry in an argument that he threw food at a wall and called her a "little fake bitch". In previous scenes, we watched Holly struggle to address issues with her husband in private while implying that she felt more comfortable in group settings. A number of the brides also voiced their dislike that Alex spoke differently to the women than he did the other men in the group.
In none of these instances did the show call out the patterns, or difference in power dynamics, being described.
While expert Mel Schilling did state that there should be no "throwing" or "disrespectful behaviour" when offering guidance to Sacha and Ross, it was then pointed out that Sacha could also be "fiery" and the extent of Ross's apparent temper felt largely overlooked.
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Holly and Alex were initially encouraged to address their issues behind closed doors. During their final commitment ceremony, following a tumultuous time on the show, Holly chose to leave but was told that "two wrongs don't make a right" and that she had been argumentative with Alex too.
Of course, it's a TV show, and we're only seeing an edit of what are quite possibly hours worth of footage and discussion. But for this very reason, with viewers watching, it's vital that certain behaviours are called out for what they are.
What happens on screen can shape our culture and understanding, and some viewers may be drawing parallels between what they are watching and what may be happening within the walls of their own homes.
Women's charity Refuge responded to the E4 show earlier in the series, voicing "huge concerns" with what was being shown. "Some contestants are displaying behaviours we recognise as abusive, and partners appear to be distressed and victimised as a result," the statement read.
The organisation also noted that "coercive control should not be aired as 'entertainment' on reality television" before going on to share concern that "shows like #MAFSUK normalise and excuse these actions."
It feels a bit like a step backwards for MAFS UK. Last year's series actually saw one couple being asked to leave the experiment due to an unhealthy relationship dynamic that was forming, and this was a significant and teachable moment that we praised at the time.
When it comes to dating shows, it's hard to completely avoid depicting any negative or unhealthy habits. We're all human, with flaws and baggage, and shows like MAFS, Love Island or even Celebs Go Dating are holding a lens up to that.
But these shows also have a responsibility to their contributors as well as those tuning in, to handle those instances with care and to interrogate what's playing out for our so-called entertainment.
With MAFS in particular, the format specifically makes room for regular check-ins with relationship experts. It's basically couples counselling, and their words of advice help shape the narrative of what's unfolding within the show's pairings.
Turns out it's not just us feeling a bit let down by some of the more volatile scenes this year, with Ofcom confirming that it received a number of complaints "related to alleged gaslighting behaviour" as well as "alleged bullying behaviour from Alex towards the women in the experiment".
This being said, it's worth noting that, while there are reports that the E4 dating show racked up over 1,000 complaints (via Mirror), some of these related to the actions of brides.
Earlier in the series, in response to audiences questioning why the experts weren't talking about things that were happening between brides Charlie and Eve, Paul C Brunson actually spoke out to clarify that the experts don't get to see a lot of what happens between commitment ceremonies.
"For the record, we don't see any footage," Paul said (via X/Twitter). "This is what makes it so challenging for us. We only see what happens at the dinner parties and commitment ceremonies… Everything else, we see for the first time with you when the show airs."
"It's similar to when you and your partner visit a counselor [sic] or therapist," he added. "They don't witness the day-to-day moments of your life; they can only work with what is shared during your sessions."
While this may be a fair point for the real world, MAFS UK could repair this disconnect in future seasons by arming the experts with more information and context for the couples sitting in front of them on the couch.
There was one scene that stood out this year where it seemed that this did happen – and the episode was all the better for it.
When Charlie accused Eve of listening in on one of her private interviews, meant to be a safe space to open up about how you're feeling, Eve simply repeated, "That's not true," in front of the experts, leaving Charlie seemingly desperate for someone to validate that she wasn't lying.
It was in that moment that Mel Schilling interjected, reassuring Charlie that "it's okay" before addressing Eve directly.
"With respect, you've lied on the couch today," Mel said, before declaring: "We are aware of what's going on here."
It was a powerful moment, and one that served the storytelling for the group as a whole – who may have been unsure of who to believe – as well as those of us watching at home.
A Channel 4 spokesperson told Digital Spy, "MAFS UK is an unscripted and observational TV show that often reflects the wide variety of complex and challenging relationship dynamics that exist in the real world. The wellbeing of contributors is of paramount importance, we have robust contributor care protocols in place and appropriate support is available to contributors before, during and after broadcast, including access to an independent psych team.
"In addition to this support, the onscreen experts bring a wealth of experience and are qualified specialists in a range of disciplines, from psychodynamic and psychosexual therapy to couples counselling, life coaching and matchmaking. The experts offer the couples informed and educated advice and guidance throughout the process. Whilst what viewers see on screen is condensed into an hour, all broadcast episodes of MAFS UK are a fair and accurate reflection of the events that took place.”
Married at First Sight UK airs on Channel 4 and E4 in the UK.
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TV Editor, Digital Spy Laura has been watching television for over 30 years and professionally writing about entertainment for almost 10 of those. Previously at LOOK and now heading up the TV desk at the UK's biggest TV and movies site Digital Spy, Laura has helped steer conversations around some of the most popular shows on the box. Laura has appeared on Channel 5 News and radio to talk viewing habits and TV recommendations. As well as putting her nerd-level Buffy knowledge to good use during an IRL meet with Sarah Michelle Gellar, Laura also once had afternoon tea with One Direction, has sat around the fire pit of the Love Island villa, spoken to Sir David Attenborough about the world's oceans and even interviewed Rylan from inside the Big Brother house (housemate status, forever pending).
