17.00 - 18.00

17.00: This hour opens on bare-chested Marco curled up foetally in the eggshell chairs, talking to sailor girl Kitten who says "I don't normally behave like this, you know, it's just the environment bringing it out of me."

17.01: "So what's this gorgeous meal you're cooking up for me?", asks Vic of Jay who's cooking broccoli, and tells Dan "I'll accept your contribution to the meal". "You just want the glory!", counters Dan.

17.02: "Oh my god, my hair's a right mess today!", says Vanessa, tidying it all up and pinning it back with her sunglasses. Marco, Kitten and Dan go to the table, prompting Vanessa to observe "We're the mummy and daddy of the house!", with Daddy Jason querying "Are we?"

17.06: Discussing shopping. "I think we should have a bit of money each for treats, like bars of chocolate or whatever". Much nodding and agreement.

17.09: Sounds of whisking, pointless closeup of Ahmed spinning round in his seat waiting for his tea, much like those distressing images of polar bears in zoos pacing back and forth in captivity.

17.11: "Five minutes to the main event!", says Jay. "All good. Coming along swimmingly." The gravy looks pretty good and this reporter feels hunger pangs.

17.13: "Atchoo!", sneezes Kitten, observing "That was a bit of a girly sneeze!". "Aye, but you are a girl", points out Jason. "Yeah, but I'm not a girly girl".

Jason shrugs. "You are a girl, though", he reiterates, causing Kitten to agree sarcastically "I do have a vagina and clitoris, thanks, yes, and I'm very happy with them!"

17.16: Outside on cushions on the grass with Marco, Nadia and the blondes. "Men and commitment never sit together", observes Nadia sagely, having resisted commitment to certain elements of Carlos when she was a man.

17.19: Emma's rocking out Tina Turner power ballads in club entertainer style. "You wanna hear one of my songs?", launching into #"I can feel your eyes on me/with all the boys in the place"#, which is a lot more impressive than the Sesame Street singing I probably expected. Although it has to be said I'm not convinced many of the words she's singing are real words.

17.24: Emma's moved onto a highly credible Lauryn Hill, and is starting to lose herself in the music. But, it's teatime! And the group sit down to a good-looking meal served up by Jay, seemingly nobody mentioning that this will be the last supper enjoyed by the whole group together, as someone will soon be leaving.

17.32: Whoops, had a phone call. But I don't think anything other than calm eating occurred, leastways I don't see any blood.

17.33: "There's a little spyhole you can see through at the top", says Kitten, although I don't see what's she's looking at.

17.36: More eating. Everyone's in the bedroom. Kitten's looking straight at the pivotting camera in the corner. Time for some emails? These ones answered by Claire.

"Victor has been asked to come to the DR he head off straight away .. Camera is on Kitten and J and Ah, Victor is still in the DR is this just a normal talk or something that will happen tonight

As Claire said STICK WITH DS:BB"

"Victor has come from the DR and joined in the convo with Ah, Kitten and J. Kitten then talks about Spirits. J tells someone to get out of his kitchen. Nadia, Marco and one other housemate is sitting on they yellow part of the Egg Chairs. - Eviction tonight WILL KITTEN GO if she does WILL SHE BE LEAVING IN THE SAME CLOTHES AS SHE ENTERED IN? We will find out in about 5hours time here on DS:BB"

"Keep it with DS:BB Tonight to find out all the latest info from that BIG HOUSE and is there an eviction or not, Keep it locked"

Are you after a job mate? :D

Chris: "I am a mortgage advisor (a real one - not just a trainee Michelle!!!)and one of my clients is a sound guy at Endemol.

I spoke to him this afternoon (work related) and asked about tonight but he wouldn't tell me anything about it. Told me I'd have to wait like everyone else! - sorry guys, I tried!" It never hurts to ask :).

17.42: "Is that a little love-nest?", shouts Kitten through the glass to a camera-man.

17.45: Camera follows Kitten pacing about. "I need a fag!", as they speculate on what Big Brother may be up to outside - probably fixing something. Sound dips quite often making it hard to follow. Jason counts to twenty in German, which sounds splendid in that Hamilton accent. But whilst that was deemed acceptable to broadcast (and now Nadia in Portugese), whatever else is being discussed is sound-dipped.

17.49: "This Is Big Brother. Housemates are now free to leave the bedroom. Housemates are asked not to use the hot tub until further notice."

But the housemates think they recognise the voice. "That's Toyah Wilcox!", says Dan. "That IS Toyah Wilcox! Singer from the 80's! And she does do voiceovers now."

17.52: On leaving the bedroom the lights go on and off a few times.

"I would not mind a job!", says Sam Vaughan. You can wash my car for a pound, Sam.

"Just, wow.. Emma's voice is seriously stunning! She needs to be a singer, (Its all adds to my theory that she is infact Melanie C!)", writes Liam. Yep, quite a surprise to me too.

"I think it`s great michelle and stuart have got it together. lets see Jay and vannessa get it together next!! ", enthuses Lisa-Jane. Dare I suggest Vanessa and Shell?

17.58: Back outside, Emma's singing again. This one's a bit squeaky, to be fair - would be better to go back to the Tina Turners, I think.