Due to huge demand, the DigitalSpy forums were offline for a while - hopefully restored within 15-30 mins!
Yikes - in at the deep end, I open on the aftermath of a big argument I didn't see, with presumably something major happening I didn't watch, which I expect is what's made DS fall over so I can't catch up. Excited? Me too.
From what I can gather, Kitten's painting words on the walls today did indeed constitute the third - and final - breach of rules as warned against. I've therefore started watching at what appears to be the tail end of an argument in which Emma told Kitten she should have thought through the consequences of her actions, and Kitten's head jiggled a bit as she said she didn't care and that BB was going to evict someone anyway.
On with the updates then.
23.09 - "I just like to say what I think", says Emma, in pink cardy, to Michelle, Stuart and Victor snuggled in the bottom bunk. "D'you know what I mean?"
23.10 - "I'm a closet heterosexual!", says Dan as Emma gets a reassuring hug from Vanessa. Blimey, me too - chicks hugging. Stuart and Michelle are reading a laminate in bed. "I didn't know Big Brother could get bored!", says Dan. Emma's gone to make a drink, the camera remains in the bedroom.
23.12 - "What if they decide to have this eviction in, like three weeks? That way they'd be safe?", speculates Stuart, using only two of his four A-levels to think of this. "Are we all in separate duvets again?", asks Michelle. "That's no ****ing fun, is it?"
What to Read Next
23.15 - "So why don't you get under the covers, Stu?", asks Victor, lying on Michelle's right. Stuart's on her left, but under his own duvet. "He's a jungle tiger!"
23.17 - "Are we going to try a spit-roast then?", suggests Vic - "There's always someone's gotta lower the tone!", shrieks Michelle. "So you had any spit-roasting experience, then?", probes 20pence, before adding, "Wanna get some?"
23.18 - I'm sure I just heard Nadia call "does anyone want to see my f***y?", with Jay shouting "Dan's a gay hairdresser, he disnae care!". Meanwhile, Emma joins Stuart, Michelle and Victor in the lower bunk.
23.21 - "Why is everyone so gross?", calls Vanessa, with Victor retorting that "It's been a tense time, I'm just trying to, you know, chill out". Stuart wants Vanessa to do his hair tonight - it's not easy keeping your place in Team Handsome.
23.23 - "So how's everyone feeling, is everyone like relaxed and that?", jokes Vic. "Calm after the storm", offers Stu. "I'm just wondering what'll happen if I hear my name called out - probably go absolutely ballistic", says Vic. BB's asked for the laminates back and Vanessa's taking them, intending to ask BB for further details.
23.25 - Switching out from the bedroom action, in the cup chairs Shell in the Dr Who scarf is talking with Kitten. "Don't walk. We'll figure this one out", says Shell. "I'm glad you're in here, and I'm glad Ness is in here, says Kitten. There's excitement here but no misery.
23.28 - "It's just playing into their hands if we all start blaming each other", says Shell. "That's the problem, I should blame myself, but I don't", says Kitten. "I think a few people will like me, and some people will be indifferent, and a few are clearly p***ed off with me. You can respect a person, you don't necessarily have to respect their thinking"
23.31 - We're back in the bunk-beds. Ness appears to be lecturing Emma on listening to other people's opinions. Vic's flicking the top bunk with his fingers, which is popping the mics a lot and annoying me. Oh - BB's just picked him up on it! Does BB read DS Live updates?! Stu and Ness say "I like this Big Brother - this one's really nice". Me too.
23.35 - Switch - to Marco leaving the shower, Ness pops in for a call of nature, and we're back to the bedroom. "Do we have another dirty slut story then?", asks Stu. "Vic, have you been part of the dirty sluts stories yet? Aw mate you're gonna relish!"
23.37 - Emma is regaling her housemates with the "There were four in the bed and the little one said" song - Marco seemed a little confused and had to ask what happens when they've ALL fallen out of the bed?
23.39 - Ho ho! Marco kicks off another "Dirty Slut" story - "Once upon a time there was a woman who worked in a charity shop. And she was also a Dirty Slut. Her name was Berta - and one day she was working late in the store..."
Emma: "And one day, on a cold frosty night, she was stocking the meat up in the freezer..."
Marco: "In the charity shop?"
Emma: "Oooh - OK, Berta found a special book - it was called the Karma Sutra! And she blew a whistle and summoned a security guard!"
Stu: "And they started flicking through the pages - and before they knew it they were going through the pages - position, by position!"
Emma: "And seven women came into the shop and decided they wanted a new outfit. But - the dirty slut had, erm, a special room, in the back room, and this one woman, FannyAnnie, who was the dirty bitch out of all them women, asked the dirty slut..."
Stu: "...if they could go to the secret room, but before they did, erm, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves came in, and they were like sh***ing with Snow White and the security guard and writing, like a new volume fo the Karma Sutra..."
Emma: "and she asked 'can I take it to another dimension', and the guard said 'I've got just what you need!' and they went to the back and there were another room with all these gimp outfits..."
23.48 - Corks. Having glimpsed a secret room earlier in the day, is this what the housemates are picturing? Oops, sorry, I'm missing a bit about nuns. And gimp parties where "You know, they dress up wiv like apples in their mouf?"
23.49 - Nadia may have been to such a party... "Yeah! Shall we ask BB for a Gimp Night?", enthuses Emma. And there she goes - into BB, like an excited squirrel thinking about nuts.
23.51 - Switch to Jay and Dan sitting outside, Kitten comes out to join them talking about her position. "I don't even know what I did today to get like my third warning", she shrugs. "It was probably the writing on the wall, not allowed to give messages to the outside world", offers Jason. Of course, BBLB played a marriage proposal from Kitten to Lianda today, which to this reporter seems a bit of a BB-sanctioned message, but no matter.
23.54 - Back to the bedroom, seems to be discussing who's got the most gay friends. Michelle and Emma have a few, I think Marco may win this one, although Nadia's staying quiet.
23.56 - There are fourteen separate conversations going on simultaneously, which I can't disentangle. Ah, a sound dip - thank goodness!
23.57 - "We went in this gay bar for a drink!", says Michelle in her glorious up 'n' down singsong accent. "And it was really really liberating because everywhere you looked it was"
23.59 - "There's very little I can do other than vandalise property, which I don't wanna do", says Kitten, after doing very little other than vandalise property... "I dunno, it must be more interesting than last year, I mean f***ing hell!"
And with that I leave you, handing off to Darryl, whilst I go find out what it was I was missing!
