April 21, 1995 – would that be the day the ice age ended?
Well, no, you can't be that precise about the ice age. But it would be the day that Father Ted debuted on Channel 4.
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It's hard to believe, but it's been 20 years since we first met Father Ted Crilly, Father Dougal McGuire, Father Jack Hackett and Mrs Doyle. We came to the Parochial House looking for a cup of tea and a Jaffa cake, and decided to stay longer than Father Stone.
Two decades on, and Graham Linehan and Arthur Matthews' sitcom is still as clever, fresh and fecking hilarious as it was back then. And it's not difficult to see why the show about three priests and their housekeeper trapped on Craggy Island has enjoyed such longevity, or to argue why it is the greatest TV comedy ever made.
It has topped countless 'all-time TV comedy' polls in the past, and you only have to say "Down with this sort of thing" or "That would be an ecumenical matter" in the right company, and before you know it, Ted-isms will be bouncing back and forth between lay people.
It's doubtful that the show was written to be so quotable. Aside from "the money was just resting in my account" and "Drink! Feck! Girls!", there aren't many lines that recur again and again.
But some just get you every time. Father Jack hugging his new pet and declaring "I love my brick", or when he sees a bunch of nuns and yells "Reverse, reverse!" while in his wheelchair. Ted explaining to Dougal that "These are small – but the ones out there are far away", and on another occasion asking Dougal if they have any incense only for him to reply: "There was a spider in the bath last night".
Just reading that is funny, let alone coupled with Ardal O'Hanlon's gormless gaze and delivery.
Although the show is incredibly well-acted and directed, the crux of Father Ted's genius lay in Linehan and Matthews' writing – a heady mix of surrealism and the everyday, along with a hefty dose of film and TV parodies (Speed and Old Grey Whistle Test were just a few pop culture properties to be lampooned).
The situations the priests found themselves in – from protesting about a blasphemous film to taking part in the annual 'All Priests Stars in Their Eyes Lookalike Competition' – were absolutely ridiculous and brilliant, and it was the dialogue itself that really made Ted what it is.
The mismatched personalities of Dermot Morgan's portrayal of Ted - with his caring façade that frequently gives way to a lust for money and a life in Vegas – to O'Hanlon's Dougal, with his jolly outlook on life and unwavering loyalty to Ted, and Frank Kelly's take on Jack, with his alcoholism and distain for the priesthood, somehow gelled to create a believable band of castaways.
And who doesn't know a Mrs Doyle? Pauline McLynn perfectly emulates every well-meaning and interfering mother/aunt/grandmother for whom no thankless task – be it fixing the roof, digging a trench or getting in some special sheep tea – is too much trouble.
Outside of the rusted, white gates of the Parochial House, the supporting characters are every bit as fantastic as the core cast. Graham Norton's Father Noel Furlong steals every scene he's in – from telling ghost stories at 6 o'clock in the morning, putting Tony on his list of enemies and Riverdancing in a caravan.
And Jim Norton's terrifying turn as "don't call me Len" Bishop Brennan also deserves a special mention, as does Ted's nemesis Father Dick Byrne over on Rugged Island (actor Maurice O'Donoghue was almost cast as Ted, instead of Morgan).
That's not to forget the miscellaneous bishops, nuns and shopkeepers John and Mary – with their endeavours to keep up appearances to be the perfect couple in front of Ted – that blend to create a sitcom worthy of The Golden Cleric award.
It's almost impossible for comedy to be both smart and silly, and yet that's what Ted did.
It is very dearly loved – probably more so today than it was when it first aired, as new audiences keep discovering it and old ones keep coming back. Because people who love Ted really love Ted. No matter how many times you see a group of priests try to fight their way out of Ireland's biggest lingerie section or attempt to give up cigarettes, alcohol and rollerblading, the writing, acting and direction of all three series will always amuse. And there's not a single duff episode.
And what other sitcom can say that it has an annual festival in its honour? Ted Fest, held in the West of Ireland and London, sells out every year as fans flock to take part in Lovely Girls competitions and have 5-a-side football matches, presided over by Morgan's real-life son Rob.
Although 20 years have passed, Father Ted hasn't aged a day since it was made. The enclosed world which the priests inhabited was not only cut off from the mainland, but also from time.
Even if the show were being made today, it would be plausible to keep everything just how it was then – in its own bubble, forgoing technology and the internet. With only four people on the island, why would Sky, BT and co. bother installing broadband? And it's unlikely there'd be 4G. Besides, Dougal has enough episodes of One Foot in the Grave on VHS and BBC Sound Effects records to keep him busy.
Father Ted is ageless because it was written for the past. Time on Craggy Island stood still well before 1995; stuck in some void between the 1940s and the present day. The show lampooned sexism ("Don't they all have lovely bottoms?") and racism ("The Chinese people – a great bunch of lads") and despite the odd Nazi uniform and continually poking Catholicism, somehow the show was never, ever offensive or crass.
Father Ted was only meant to last for three series. However, any chance of a revival further down the line became impossible when Morgan – aged only 45 – suddenly and tragically passed away. He had a heart attack the day after filming wrapped on the final episode of Ted, with his co-stars later explaining that he felt under huge stress filming the third series, and that he was a perfectionist who was never quite satisfied with his performance.
It was an incredibly poignant and desperately sad thing to happen, which meant that Ted will forever remain in its own world; sealing and preserving the incredible legacy it left behind.
Whether you're watching The Eurovision Song Contest, going on a caravan holiday or visiting some very, very, very dark caves, it's almost impossible for a Ted fan not to slip into a rendition of 'My Lovely Horse', be tempted to turn a kettle on without water in it just to see what happens, or embark on a screeching competition.
Morgan – and Ted's – legacy will no doubt go on, go on, go on, go on for many more years to come.
