[Katie Price's valiant but failed attempt to represent the UK at Eurovision 2005]
Forget The X Factor, this is your chance at international (read: European) singing stardom (read: humiliation, realistically).
The competition to find the UK entry for Eurovision opens today. Anyone who fancies singing, dancing and generally embarrassing themselves in front of an audience of circa 204 million in Kyiv, Ukraine, next May should apply now.
Like last year, all public applicants will be shortlisted by a representative panel of official UK Eurovision Fan Club (OGAE UK) members - yes, that is a real thing. At the same time, record industry execs and BBC music consultant Hugh Goldsmith will be seeking out pro-songwriters, hoping to track down the next big hit.
All contenders will go up against a TV audience who will have the chance to vote for their favourite in Eurovision: You Decide next year.
Hugh Goldsmith said: "I am looking for songs which have the capacity to make a true impact on the 200 million people that will watch Eurovision live in May 2017.
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"Good is not enough... Great is required! The winning song will need to combine emotive lyrics and memorable melodies with a brilliant production. Writers should not be constrained by genre - Best in class is what we want! If you think you have the perfect song, we would love to hear from you."
Guy Freeman, Editor, BBC special events and formats, said: "This is the moment for anyone who passionately believes they've written an outstanding song that could win over the hearts and minds of millions of European TV viewers and professional juries, to go for it and submit their entry."
A warning though: if you thought the anti-UK voting was bad last year, imagine how many votes we'll get post-Brexit...
