Ah, university. Those blissful, hazy three years of hangovers, bad haircuts, sleeping till noon and half-price WKD before 8pm. (And maybe a lecture thrown in from time to time, too.)
Not in the glitzy world of Hollywood, though. On the big screen, uni is one big festival of beer kegs, sexy lecturers and totally epic parties.
With today's release of Richard Linklater's outstanding Everybody Wants Some!!, about a college football team about to start a new academic year in the 1980s, we take a look at the ways uni in movies is, in fact, nothing like uni in real life.
1. They have wild fraternity and sorority initiations
Guilty: Animal House, Dazed and Confused, 22 Jump Street
OK, so we know pledging your eternal loyalty to a fraternity is a serious thing in the States and initiation ceremonies take place. However, paddle-smacked in a candle-lit room by seniors dressed as monks? Or being waterboarded with tomato ketchup by a power-hungry cheerleader? Come on.
What to Read Next
2. The parties look like Ibiza superclubs…
Guilty: Bad Neighbours
Since when did students have enough money to host house parties so epic that there's a world-class DJ in the living room, UV lighting, firework displays and flowing alcohol everywhere? In our day house parties had someone's iPod playlist on repeat, Asda own-brand vodka stashed in a cupboard so no one else could steal it and questionably-stained sofas someone would eventually pass out on. (Still pretty epic.)
3. … With famous rappers
Guilty: Old School
Snoop Dogg turning up to Nottingham Trent halls of residence for a spontaneous bash – while mudwrestling is going on in the living room – would just never happen. We shouldn't need to point this out. But he turned up for a gig in Old School.
4. They have deep philosophical discussions
Guilty: Liberal Arts
We might have pondered the meaning of life over a kebab at 3am but why waste time having a profound conversation with your lecturer when you could be watching Hollyoaks?
5. The lacrosse teams and a capella groups get taken way too seriously
Guilty: Pitch Perfect
Maybe we should have embraced off-academic hobbies more, but aside from Quiz Nights at the student union bar, options were fairly limited. We struggle to believe that students would ever be flown around the world to battle it out in a televised a capella competition.
6. Spring Break looks awesome
Guilty: Spring Breakers
This is what Americans call their Easter holidays. But they don't get in the first train back to Mum's for two weeks of getting their washing done and home-cooked roasts. They take amazing road trips to Florida wearing nothing but bikinis and high tops and have wet t-shirt competitions.
7. The shared dorms
Guilty: Road Trip, Pitch Perfect
A house-share of seven girls and one bathroom was intimate enough, we can't imagine the hell of having actual shared bedrooms, too.
8. Movie universities are full of grand, beautiful, old buildings
Guilty: Legally Blonde, The Social Network
Unless you went to Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard or somewhere else posh, there are no Grade 1-listed buildings at university. There may be a couple of newly-built posh buildings, but your lectures will never be there. They'll be in the dilapidated one that looks – and smells – like a hospital.
9. The professors are unbelievably hot
Guilty: Raiders Of The Lost Ark
In reality, 51-year-old Paul is a broke, failed actor who finally admitted defeat and took a job as a drama lecturer at Salford University. He is not Indiana Jones.
10. The Dean is a power-hungry psycho out to destroy you
Guilty: Animal House, Ghostbusters
We never even met our university head honcho, let alone be told that "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son," before being put in Double Secret Probation and banned from having any fun at all.
Everybody Wants Some!! is in cinemas from today - Friday, May 13.
